Monday, September 12, 2005

A Wavering Hope


My mom was feeling very hopeful through all this. Then we met with FEMA this morning. After two hours waiting in line for it's cold bureaucratic embrace, her hope started to flicker. This is what it looks like when poor people have lost it all, and are told to get in line. Which line? Did you fill out that form? I hear they suspended the vouchers. Who do I call for shelter? Call this 800 number to get your number. But sir, I don't have a phone. Go to this website to get a number. But sir, I don't have a computer, or a home to put it in, or a phone to connect it to.

Get in line, ma'am.

This what it looks like when you can't take anymore. If I could strangle an entire bureaucracy with my bare hands, I would.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

My prayers are with you and your family. Keep hope strong and focus on the path ahead.

clayton cubitt said...

Wow. Reading this just makes me enraged. "Go to this website". Grrrrr..... xox

posted by: girlbrainiac on 9/15/2005 7:44:55 PM

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Thank you for letting us see your Mother. Please thank your Mother for letting us see her most painful & vulnerable moment.

posted by: delapena on 9/13/2005 1:23:38 AM

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Powerful stuff, Siege. Heartbreaking, and if my Northern heart shatters at your images and you words, I cannot begin to imagine how this devastates you, seeing your childhood twisted and broken. Nothing is the same. Surreal.

I try to imagine the place I grew up all torn to hell and I can't. It seems impossible. What illusions we all live.

And, Siege, I like your sex site as much, and more then, the next person, but I appreciate so very much more how you are willing to share your heart and soul with us. As the above comment said, your mom's tearstained face humanizes this for us. And makes my tears start to flow.

If you need a hand strangling that bureaucracy, you know where to find me.

posted by: lssmwinycom on 9/12/2005 2:39:58 PM

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Reading your saga has been more compelling and informative than watching the news or reading the papers.

This photo of your mother has put a real face on the event. It's stark and touching. Thanks for sharing it with us.

The tradgey wasn't only the storm, that one day was just the start. Learning of the lack of preparation, shoddy infrastructure, and govt response has made it all the worse.

Love you in your erotic photos so much. But love that you're your mother's son more.

I'm in North Mississippi, if you all want to come visit for a spell, e-mail the profile.

posted by: mschantal on 9/12/2005 1:10:12 PM

Dragonetta said...

Bush should be impeached. No two ways about it. His neglect and mishandling of this whole tragedy is criminal in nature. He's not fit to hold the position of President of the United States. He should be impeached and never allowed to run for ANY office ever again. Also, not to sound trite or anything, your mom's picture reminds me of that commercial that used to come on television back in the day with the Indian (Native American) with the tear in his eye. Different circumstance - same feeling.

SunnySideUp said...

You have got to be kidding me. How ignorance flows forth from those that are not suffering. How the devil do yuo call 800 numbers or use a computer when everything you had is lost. Why are they not set up with computers at these emergency points to help these victims with that process of online forms? I am outraged!.........God Help us is our ignorance......

Anonymous said...

I just want to say Thank you, thank you for your incredible site and images. Your mothers face tells Pearlingtons story prefectly.
My husband, myself and my 5 year old daugther are from Pearlington, not born there but definetly the place we called home. We lived on the most beautiful and magical point of land that jetted out into Whites Bayou. It was our little piece of paradise and now it is gone. The 100 year old oak trees dripping spanish moss, the lush green bayou that was our backyard, the charming 60 year old brick house ...all gone. My sister lived in a trailor next door and it too just not longer exists.
My daughter and I are now in Michigan, my birthplace, staying with family. My husband is in New Orleans trying to come up with a home for us to live in and helping to rebuild.
I look at your faces of Pearlington, all so familiar yet not the same. The landscape..how it's changed and the people how they have changed. I miss my little town, the beautiful swamp and the gritty hard working people.
I went back for a week to visit my husband and try to salvage some of our belongings, it was futile of course and what I saw was more than words could ever describe. My daughter had just begun kindegarten at Charles B. Murphy, a precious gem of a school were she had begun to make new friends and loved her new teacher. To see the school in it's new state, as a refuge for survivors was more than my heart could take. I hate being here in Michigan and just want to go home. There is no way to desribe the despair of realizing there is no "home" to return to and we will have to start anew.

When something like this happens initially the loss of your belongings your worldly items is what you think of then you realize the greatest loss is the loss of your sense of saftey, security in this world. All of this can be swept away in one day and it's horribly frightening. I'm 41 and this true realization is almost more than I can stand...and then I think of my 5 year old and believe me people she understands that her world is not the safe place she once thought it was. This is my true and absolute heartbreak.

The Gulf Coast is were we belong and we will likely end up in New Orleans to try to rebuild. We will not give up on the idea that one day we will return to Pearlington.

Again, thank you for telling Pearlingtons story. I pray for you and your family, and all of the people of Pearlington as well as New Orleans and the Gulf Coast.